I went into my first spa experience a couple of decades ago as an anxiety-ridden, soul-searching, overworked writer and editor for newspapers and magazines. Today, I’m a (mostly) balanced, exhilarated mother, and a professional psychic and intuitive reader. 

Okay, so maybe there were a few steps there in between, not the least of which was having a child at the age of 41 – a life change that rearranged all my atoms and opened me up to my intuition and higher guidance in ways nothing else ever could. But discovering what author Cheryl Richardson describes as The Art of Extreme Self-Care (a book that truly helped save me from my stress-sick self), and specifically making massage, yoga, acupuncture, reflexology, energy healing and other well being-nurturing practices a high priority have been prominent pavers on my path to living a spirit-centered, intuitively guided life. 

It was the deadline-driven stress of being a writer and editor that first got me looking for ways to escape the physical effects of anxiety – the muscle pain, headaches, and even severe stomach pain I had developed over years of making my performance at work the focal point of my life. Massage and yoga were life-savers, and I began using self care as most people do in the beginning: as a surface bandage for a wound and inner cycle that went much deeper. But temporary, intermediate relief was better than none, and I began to follow the breadcrumb trail that led me from meditation to meditation and massage to massage. 

By the time I reached my mid-30s, my heart had begun pulling me toward motherhood, but a stressed-out body and hardwired achievement-based mind is not exactly the perfect cocktail for pregnancy. What I’d hoped would happen in just a year or two ended up requiring about seven years to come to fruition. During those years I explored nearly every fertility-support modality available in the doctor’s office, the spa, and beyond. 

While none of it “worked” – it wasn’t until I released all control completely and surrendered fully to a higher will that my was child miraculously conceived – each moment spent exploring and more deeply understanding the inner workings of my own body, mind, and heart with the support and wisdom of those practitioners was a step into a higher consciousness and another way of living. My child was a spirit guide for me before conception, and he definitely continued that work as an earthly guide after his birth.

Even though I’d had 41 years to prepare for it, becoming a mom instantly exposed and made raw all the roots of my lifelong anxiety. The hormonal hurricane of that first couple of years and the complete reality shift so late in life shook me to my foundation, and I found myself struggling with nighttime panic attacks accompanied by a sudden spike in the headaches and physical pain I’d been dealing with for so long. The survival-mode mental state of early parenthood was fertile ground for the years of suppressed seeds of stress and worry that had been lying dormant underground to sprout and overtake my internal garden with sanity-strangling weeds. 

During my child’s very brief daily nap and at night I would listen to self-hypnosis recordings and guided meditations and I would pray for relief from the internal squeeze that was happening because of my own limiting beliefs and negative thoughts about myself and my abilities. One day as I was meditating I felt electricity cascade through my body – from the top of my head all the way to my toes. I felt the undeniable connection with something beyond me. Something had happened. 

After that, at group playdates for my then-toddler, I started getting messages for the other moms, accompanied by the electricity feeling in my body. I would ask them if I could share what I was getting and they were gracious, open and supportive. When the messages strongly resonated with them each time, I knew without question that I was being led in the direction of listening and sharing what was coming through in the connection channel that had been created. My inner “breakdown” had broken down whatever barriers had been in the way of all that was now coming through. 

Now, six years later, I’m an extremely passionate mom loving the everchanging ride of parenthood and a professional intuitive reader and spiritual coach passing people’s messages from their guides along to them every single day. 

Through the long, absolutely unpredictable and uncontrollable process of my child’s conception and birth and the even more challenging birth of myself as a mother, I discovered earnestly seeking, open self care as an entryway into being able to follow spirit guidance and receive divine miracles that are simply inaccessible through the pathways of the ego mind. Because tuning into the self IS tuning into spirit. It may sound trite, as most truths can, but the doorway to the universe is within each of us, and the only way to find it is by going within. By listening. By being still. By connecting. 

This does require patience, though fortunately it does not require us to be graceful in that unfolding. The 20 years it took me to move from mental and physical imbalance and suffering and yearning into the miracles of motherhood and divine inner connection were filled with tears, screams, frustration, isolation, every emotion of the spectrum, flailing, crying out for help … you name it. But the gifts are more precious to me than anything I could have imagined. And they could not have come any other way. 

That reminds me: Time to book a massage. And meditate. 

Intuitive reader and spiritual coach India Leigh uses an array of modalities and gifts to help others clearly understand their higher guidance and inner wisdom. She also empowers others in coming into more connection with their own divine creative power, aligning their energy, thoughts, words and actions with their greatest good and highest purpose.